Commissary (Happy Hour): Restaurant Four

Alrighty...i told you all i would find the perfect place to take the jump offs where no one will see you and you don't have to spend a lot of money. In addition you can get drunk for $20.

Drum roll please...Commissary in Dupont/Logan Circle!!!



Cuisine: American
‎Dining Style‎: (Very) Casual Dining
‎Reservations‎: who makes reservations for happy hour?? pretentious ass-holes, thats who.
‎Price Quartile‎: $
‎Parking‎: No Valet‎
Attire‎: Anything but butt nekkid-ness
‎Wine Specialty‎: happy hour wine anyone??

the skinny: i don't work too far from this spot. Uber low key, dim lighting and $4 Comi-Cado's (def didn't spell that right), Mojitos and Margaritas.

you can also eat for $4...they have chicken tenders, $2 ceasar salad ( you havent had a ceasar until youve had it with anchovies #truestory) and $3 garlic hummus w/ pita bread.

i don't know about you but i don't need much too eat when i'm drankin' so i'm good with the salad, now bring on the DRANKS!!!

this is the perfect place to take someone that you may not even like but definitely want to smush (thank you jersey shore). since it's in a trendy neighborhood, they'll think youre trendy and you can get them drunk with only $20.

My suggestion, order the Comi-Cado's, its the strongest of the happy hour drinks. the down side to this place is you have to bring your own sand to this beach. every time i've gone there was no eye candy; man or woman. a lot of couples and tired/drunk dupont workers. youre better off across the street, bagging a whole foods worker.

so how many Shakur's, HOW MANY SHAKUR'S?!?!?!

Since this is the cheapest we've gone, i'll give you a full body Shakur which is the equivalent to like a dozen plus thumbnail Shakurs :)

The Steph Jones Moment...

and what??? what you gon' do?? yeah i said it...steph jones is the new hottie with a body that i'm crushing on.

its so sad this thing i have for freckles on blk ppl..just sad. but seriously Steph is adorable and he seems like a nice guy. i mean he dated a virgin, don't get much sweeter than that.

breath him in, hold...gently spit out. hold again because as adorable as he is, i don't see this crush lasting too long.

Hanks Oyster Bar: Restaurant Three

Cuisine: Seafood
‎Dining Style‎: Casual Dining
‎Reservations‎: I heard they dont take them but that mightve changed‎
‎Price Quartile‎: $$
‎Parking‎: No Valet‎
Attire‎: Casual
‎Wine Specialty‎: they serve wine?? (try their homemade-seasonal, slow cooked egg nog)

the skinny: im mean what can i say about a joint that i've been to 3 times in one week??

i've developed an insatiable hunger for raw oysters.

no i don't get horny.
no it doesn't make me feel like i'm eating cooter.

Hanks is in the uber trendy area of Dupont Circle (Q St.) but is away from the melee that makes Dupont, Dupont. tucked away in the corner, Hanks hooks you up with $1-$2 oysters on a half shell between the hours of 5:30pm - 6:30pm. if you like oysters you know this price is beyond a bargain, its a fucking steal.

they have other stuff too but...yeah, i eat oysters. calamari/popcorn shrimp basket is a must as well. without being too wordy, Hanks is chic and trendy with carry-out prices. ok, maybe not carryout...chic and trendy with applebee's pricing.

Date Status: Ladies and Gents, i think we've found the most impressive Jump-Off spot. Wanna make her feel "special" without spending that "special" money, take her to Hanks. wanna make him feel like a winner but only spend for the amount of a chicken dinner, take him to Hanks.

*drum roll* ITS A 5 SHAKUR RESTAURANT!!!!!! Seriously yall, i can't get anymore economically friendly without including a dollar menu.


Rating:




and if youre a jumpoff and reading this, you can thank me later. fellas, if you have a jumpoff you want to impress, you can thank me later.

"this is for the seafood lover in yoooooooooouuuuuuu!!!!"

Top 5 Becky's

Black folks love to swirl, don't they?? ...dont lie, youve thought about it.

For those that love that milky white, here is a list of "good" becky choices...

(this is in order, 5 being the lowest)

5) GWYNETH PALTROW



4) CHRISTINA HENDRICKS




3) MEGAN FOX



2) KERRY WASHINGTON (no she's not; yes she is)



1) COCO TEA (i love you bitch...i really fucking do!!)

TOP 8 BRANDON'S

women swirlers need love too.

for those that love the milky white (insert dirty thought here), here are some "good" brandon choices (and yes, the ladies get more because...*shrugs* more options i guess).

8) COLIN FARRELL



7) JOHNNY DEPP (can't have colin without Johnny)

there aren't a lot of stock Johnny photos where he doesn't look like a pirate.



6) JASON SEGEL (its something about him)



5) JARED LETO (jordan catalano)



4) TRAVS (travis barker and travis mccoy/no he's not; yes he is)





3) MICKEY ROURKE (shut your mouth, love me some Mickey Rourke...love him; maybe it was just ironman 2)



2)RUSSELL BRAND (russell could definitely get it)



1) BRAD "MUTHA FUCKIN" PITT (just waiting for Angelina to bow out gracefully)



HONORABLE MENTION: paul walker (he doesn't get his name in caps)




after doing the intial post, i realized a few things:

-- i have a thing for brunettes with blue eyes.
-- paul walker is hot as shit and might be tied for #3 with Mickey Rourke
-- where the hell is colin farrell now??
-- top #1 becky and brandon are both well-known swirlers.

PSA: Rosa Acosta

Every once in a while we have to step away from fashion and discuss other things...ya know, so we dont become jaded :)

just little fyi's for you to see. our first ever PSA is Rosta Acosta.




and she's also a ballerina *tears*


(yeah i don't know what she said but i love "models" that look good in and out of clothes. she gives face a little too, dont she??!?!)


ladies, before you frown, let this be motivation. and if i said it once, i've said it a million times: if she's bad, she's bad. and i'm going to let you know when youre bad WERK MISS ROSA ACOSTA, YOU BAD!!!!! lol

The Manual: Letting Go

so my friend asked me to blog about "the players manual" LOL. not sure what to say however i will discuss a few relationship "challenges," how to confront these challenges, and hopefully how to have a decent relationship.

First, lets discuss letting go...

some of u ninjas and ninjettes swear youre going to make it work/happen with someone when in reality you need to let it go.

exercise: lets all pull out our phones (crackberry in my case) and go through the text messages. do you have three or more messages to the same person, without receiving a response?? LET IT GO!!!

we have ALL been there before...stressing over someone who isn't stressing over us but we have to be aware of when to let go.

exercise 2: you call, get three rings and then goes straight to voicemail...LET IT GO.

there is something deep down telling you, "they don't really fuck with me" quit ignoring that muthafucker and listen...that is called intuition.

exercise 3: your friends tell you to let it go...LET IT GO.

you know who your hating ass friends are and you know who your ride or die friends are...if ride or die is telling you to drop that zero and find yourself a hero, take heed. they are outsiders looking in, and a real friend does not want to see another friend playing themselves.

then there are some of you that got the one you were chasing but something just aint right...

its really hard to identify when to let go when you already "think" you have the one you want.

exercise 1: the last 4 weekends you were home alone and your "other" was out living it up...

exercise 2: you don't know when "other" gets paid but they know when you get paid...

exercise 3: their phone is a forbidden territory to you.

the hard part with letting go in a "relationship" is deciphering whether you need to let it go or try to work on things. all three exercises are grounds to let go only AFTER you have discussed your concerns with "other" and no resolution has been made. YOU CANNOT expect for people to know where youre coming from if they don't know where youre at. communication can make that happen.

PART TWO: getting what you want

The Chris Brown Moment

so for your viewing pleasure here is the video clip that set it off for me and chris (and yes there is a me and chris, shut your mouth)...omg, I feel 13 again. anywho, the boy's got skills. breath him in, let it marinate and then spit him out...

btw, i figured out how to show videos now so be prepared...you've been warned.

You're a Jump-Off...

Lets talk about Jump-Offs...

Some of us like to fake like we don't know when we're a j/o or participating in j/o activities, but its 2009, lets be true to ourselves.

Fellas (if yall reading me), ALL females are someone's jumpoff...ALL. I hate when males say they want a female that aint out there...well, sounds like you're doing your searching in a convent cause even "virgin valerie" was someone's late night booty tease @ one point.

What?? How can you say that?? My girl was a virgin when she met me?? LMAO!!!!! SO!!!!!!

If you're a female, virgin, older than 21...i'm going to assume you've sucked a dick, jerked a dick, rubbed on a dick (with or without panties), and maybe even let the head in and then changed your mind.

A dude has tried (probably many) to tap that ass and although you may not have fully done the horizontal polka...you both had a good time (wink wink).

Fellas (if yall reading me) virgins can be jump-offs. Nobody may have gotten 10 consecutive pumps but she has been called after the club for a bj and/or hand job on occasion. She may have been caught up in the club bathroom grinding on your johnson in her draws (shut up, don't judge nobody).

lets repeat...EVERY GIRL IS SOMEONES JUMP-OFF.

Ladies, your asking yourself "how do I know if I'm a jump off" *sigh* (side eye and a "bitch please")...

Your a jump off if:

• You werent invited to go the club but were invited to his house after the club.
  


• You don't have to get dressed to go out cause you don't go anywhere but to his house.
  


• He doesn't call before 12 am.
  


• McDonalds/Wendys/7-11 is yall spot.
  


• You've never seen him in anything other than a beater and sweats.
  


• You've heard the line "right after this game." (I think every woman has heard this LOL)
  


• He tried to hook you up with his brother/room-mate/cousin/any friend.
  


• Valentines Day and Christmas are just another day for yall.
  


• He gives you a speech about how you're NOT the jump off.
  

The list could go on but most of you already know, or are crying cause the truth hurts. Either way, if you answered yes to any of these questions...YOU'RE A JUMP OFF.

The plus is it's 2009...know your role and make it a goal to do better.

Next Post: How to upgrade your Jump-Off Status