dirty PERFECTIONISM

Commissary (Happy Hour): Restaurant Four

2011-08-03T13:28:00.000-07:00

Alrighty...i told you all i would find the perfect place to take the jump offs where no one will see you and you don't have to spend a lot of money. In addition you can get drunk for $20.

Drum roll please...Commissary in Dupont/Logan Circle!!!

Cuisine: American
‎Dining Style‎: (Very) Casual Dining
‎Reservations‎: who makes reservations for happy hour?? pretentious ass-holes, thats who.
‎Price Quartile‎: $
‎Parking‎: No Valet‎
Attire‎: Anything but butt nekkid-ness
‎Wine Specialty‎: happy hour wine anyone??

the skinny: i don't work too far from this spot. Uber low key, dim lighting and $4 Comi-Cado's (def didn't spell that right), Mojitos and Margaritas.

you can also eat for $4...they have chicken tenders, $2 ceasar salad ( you havent had a ceasar until youve had it with anchovies #truestory) and $3 garlic hummus w/ pita bread.

i don't know about you but i don't need much too eat when i'm drankin' so i'm good with the salad, now bring on the DRANKS!!!

this is the perfect place to take someone that you may not even like but definitely want to smush (thank you jersey shore). since it's in a trendy neighborhood, they'll think youre trendy and you can get them drunk with only $20.

My suggestion, order the Comi-Cado's, its the strongest of the happy hour drinks. the down side to this place is you have to bring your own sand to this beach. every time i've gone there was no eye candy; man or woman. a lot of couples and tired/drunk dupont workers. youre better off across the street, bagging a whole foods worker.

so how many Shakur's, HOW MANY SHAKUR'S?!?!?!

Since this is the cheapest we've gone, i'll give you a full body Shakur which is the equivalent to like a dozen plus thumbnail Shakurs :)

Playtime w/ Celebs: Tocarra (courtesy of Derek Blanks) Edition

2011-08-03T12:21:00.000-07:00

since we're talking about Steph Jones and Fashion (huh, what...i don't see no steph jones and i don't see no fashion. *sigh* scroll down...carry on), it couldn't be more fitting to have a playtime with celebs: Tocarra (Ft. Steph Jones) for Derek Blanks.

Lets take a look at the shoot:

Now don't get me wrong, i like tocarra. she was definitely a fave on ANTM. Derek blanks...well, he's ok. i thought the alter ego shoot was cool, like 3 yrs ago. but to me, as a fine arts graduate, his photos lack substance and depth. they all have a familiar ghetto fab-ness to them.

in this photo shoot Derek didn't let me down. he had tocarra reading on the floor in an evening gown and trench coat (complete with the designer label shopping bag placement). he had Tocarra give close up glam. he had tocarra play the JCPenny's model role. i mean he had her doing all the "My first photoshoot" poses and placements...tyra would not approve.

To me (my opnions) this looks very amateur and Derek Blanks is supposed to be the uber professional. Tocarra too...i blame you as well. you know better, you were taught better.

I'm not going to go in on the locale of the shoot but i will offer a suggestion on wardrobe and makeup. i mean what would Playtime w/ Celebs be without MY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.

Stay tuned...

a rise...arise...ARISE

2011-08-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

WARNING!!! THIS IS A FASHION/ART POST...

doesn't Arise Magazine have thee dopest covers EVER!!!!! (it wasn't really a question).

inside the DOPENESS continues...

The Steph Jones Moment...

2011-08-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

and what??? what you gon' do?? yeah i said it...steph jones is the new hottie with a body that i'm crushing on.

its so sad this thing i have for freckles on blk ppl..just sad. but seriously Steph is adorable and he seems like a nice guy. i mean he dated a virgin, don't get much sweeter than that.

breath him in, hold...gently spit out. hold again because as adorable as he is, i don't see this crush lasting too long.

PSA: Kanye on the I-D cover

2010-12-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

Love the new CD, hate to hear about his personal life, LOVED this i-d cover.

did he or did he not look super sexy?? i don't think i've seen him look THIS good. kudos (or kadooz as Ramona would say) to the photog that did the shoot. Did Cassius (don't get me started) dress him?? i even like the hugh hefner circa '81 slippers.

FRIENDS...how many of us fucking have them?? (Part 1)

2010-12-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

disclaimer: This post is NOT in any way, shape or form about any one person or any one situation. the views in this post are MY personal opinions about observations in MY life. i'm not apologizing for offending anyone because, a) you only get offended when its directed towards you. i clearly said this is not about anyone, and b) THE TRUTH HURTS.

I am in NO WAY the perfect friend but as i mature, i'm trying to be. i'm trying to be the perfect woman (no ones perfect...oh yeah, well fuck you). in that process to perfection i want to try to have some folks ask questions of themselves to find self revelations because self revelations are the best. feel free to add your own friend stuff in the comments (yall never do), because this post is going to be a couple parts long...ENJOY!!

for the last 2 yrs, i have lost a lot of friends. some situations there was no love lost but other situations hurt my heart to let go...but inevitably, it was necessary.

recently SO MANY females in my life have shared with me their problems, their hi's, their lo's...they shared themselves. this is usually what my friendships are about. my goal when i befriend a female is to be SUPER LISTENER, truth teller, ride-or-die and a sister from another mother. i've even apologized to friends when i feel like i'm being too needy and not supportive of their lives.

but this post is not about me.

i really need ppl (females in particular) to understand what the fuck friendship means. yes, you may know a lot of ppl, but sweetheart ALL OF THESE PPL ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.

The Ventor: when youre mad, all you want to do is grab a phone and call that special friend that will listen and let you vent, but do you answer the phone when they need YOU to listen to them??

the other thing is...when you do call, how much time is spent discussing your problems vs your friends?? do you dominate the conversation with your drama and give them a few minutes to quickly tell you how they are, followed by how your day went?? see how selfish that can seem??

Ex.
Friend 1: hey girl, how are you??
Friend 2: i'm good girl. today - (cut off by friend 1)
Friend 1: girl did i tell you what Lonnie did last night?? this fool said he dont want to be with me no more...

you have officially taken the conversation off of your friend, back to you. did you really want to know how she was doing or were you trying to be polite??

The "fuck that nigga" friend: this is the person that only calls when its time to bash the new guy in their lives.
you know he's not shit, the listening friend tells you he aint shit but you don't do anything about your situation but continue to call your friend and talk bad about him. why?? you talk about him like a dog but he's still your boyfriend and when its convenient for you, we can dog him out. *side eye*

the problem is not so much the dogging him out. the problem is now i hate this guy because you never call and tell me about how great he is, only how much he sucks. the problem is i don't know anything but negative about this guy and youre still with him. the problem is you want me to hate or like him at your command and/or whim. is that fair??

as a friend, you NEED to make sure there is an equal balance of good and bad in anything you discuss. as i've said before, good ppl recognize good ppl and although a good person may not call you selfish and may continue to listen to you...they know that deep down you have issues, are selfish, insecure and not a very good friend. hell, you may be pouring your hearts out to someone who has already put you in the acquaintance category but youre too busy running your mouth to realize it.

speaking of running your mouth.

The Cackling Hens: if all yall do is talk about ppl, let it be known that yall talk about each other, behind one anothers back. if all yall do is talk about ppl, then you don't really have a friendship. just 2 insecure ppl talking about people who are probably better than the 2 of you. #justsaying if all yall do is talk about ppl, you BOTH need to get a life.

The Insecure Friend: don't bring yours (insecurities) to the table of your friends. why would your friends/ppl who love you, want to hear all the negative shit you think of yourself?? why would you want to make them sad and pity you. humans pity children and the homeless and unless your either of those, why would you want someones pity?? 9 out of 10 friendships are started from positivity. you liked their style, they made you laugh, you shared a common interest. not because your fat, or you can't dress, or youre ugly. so STOP telling ppl that. we all have our days but to make it a consistent point, to someone who cares about you, can come off as weak and needy. and no one wants to befriend the needy person.

The User: do you constantly take?? do a lot of your sentences with friends start off with "can you...". reality check, youre a user and probably don't have any friends. ppl just tolerate you.

The Never Wrong: if out of no where, your friend is throwing you big shade, STOP!! before you start going in on them, look at yourself. what have you done to make someone completely stop all communication?? what about your relationship has changed??

a lot of times, we as females are quick to go off on someone because we're NEVER WRONG but a majority of times, we should be going off on ourselves because WE'RE WRONG. its so easy to point the finger at someone else but ALWAYS check yourself first before confronting someone else.

The list will continue and of course we will discuss how to be better friends and/or how to drop the losers that continue to bring chaos and drama into our lives.

please fee free to add your thoughts in the comments or send it to frankiebaby3000@yahoo.com

i'll post a few for future "friends" posts.

Hanks Oyster Bar: Restaurant Three

2010-12-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

Cuisine: Seafood
‎Dining Style‎: Casual Dining
‎Reservations‎: I heard they dont take them but that mightve changed‎
‎Price Quartile‎: $$
‎Parking‎: No Valet‎
Attire‎: Casual
‎Wine Specialty‎: they serve wine?? (try their homemade-seasonal, slow cooked egg nog)

the skinny: im mean what can i say about a joint that i've been to 3 times in one week??

i've developed an insatiable hunger for raw oysters.

no i don't get horny.
no it doesn't make me feel like i'm eating cooter.

Hanks is in the uber trendy area of Dupont Circle (Q St.) but is away from the melee that makes Dupont, Dupont. tucked away in the corner, Hanks hooks you up with $1-$2 oysters on a half shell between the hours of 5:30pm - 6:30pm. if you like oysters you know this price is beyond a bargain, its a fucking steal.

they have other stuff too but...yeah, i eat oysters. calamari/popcorn shrimp basket is a must as well. without being too wordy, Hanks is chic and trendy with carry-out prices. ok, maybe not carryout...chic and trendy with applebee's pricing.

Date Status: Ladies and Gents, i think we've found the most impressive Jump-Off spot. Wanna make her feel "special" without spending that "special" money, take her to Hanks. wanna make him feel like a winner but only spend for the amount of a chicken dinner, take him to Hanks.

*drum roll* ITS A 5 SHAKUR RESTAURANT!!!!!! Seriously yall, i can't get anymore economically friendly without including a dollar menu.

Rating:

and if youre a jumpoff and reading this, you can thank me later. fellas, if you have a jumpoff you want to impress, you can thank me later.

"this is for the seafood lover in yoooooooooouuuuuuu!!!!"

Ciara Groupie

2010-09-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

I know I know...i'll go sit in the corner now.

i've been trying to write this post for a while now. i guess since Basic Instinct is out or coming out, or being pushed back...or being sold as coasters (where's a good PR team when you need one) I'll give her some much needed shine on BSM.

so i bought what was supposed to be an "advanced" copy of her latest CD from a polite gentleman who had numerous cd's, strategically placed on a card table. he had DVD's too :)

clearly it wasn't an advanced copy of anything, but more so a cd with some new ciara songs. but who cares?!!!? it was still a decent CD nonetheless (still gets heavy rotation in the car).

then the moves. the girl got moves.

I pride myself on trying to learn the dances from certain videos and NO, not that silly souljah boy mess. im talking about full on routines that require blood sweat and tears. ok, not really but it usually is a workout (thanks teyana taylor and drop it low).

With Ciara, I've tried to learn ride, #fail. i tried to learn work, #fail. and i tried to learn parts of go girl, #fail. ciara challenges my non professional dancing arse everytime...and i love it.

the clothes!!! umm who told ciara she can be a muse for Givenchy?? who dammit?? in my dreams/fantasies, i'm a muse for a lot of different fashion houses, so how can i not love someone who is living my dream.

ciara used to be a bamma liiiiiiiii...then something happened. she got fly. it was like a slow progression of flyness. smack your face if you think it's because she's now friends with Kim Kardashian...smack your face and smack it hard.

anywho, here are some pics of CiCi that impressed me this year.

BLT: Restaurant Two

2010-07-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

another GOOD restaurant is BLT.

Cuisine: American/Steakhouse
‎Dining Style‎: Fine Dining‎ - Casual Dining
‎Reservations‎: Accepted‎
‎Price Quartile‎: $$$‎
‎Parking‎: No Valet‎
Attire‎: Jackets required‎
‎Wine Specialty‎: ??? (if you know, fill me in)

the skinny: this is a nice spot. its trendy and has cuisine that anyone will dig. POP-OVERS and FRIES, thats all i need from BLT but they offer tons more.

this is moderately priced for good, rich food (disclaimer: i think 45 is decent for a good steak). EVERYTHING had tons of flavor. i think i ordered a 12oz filet and my friend got the porterhouse...AWESOME. the meat was juicy and tender. i'm not a big meat-head so i asked the waitress what a newbie steak eater would like, she hooked me right up. SO GOOD (i just had a flashback of the steak juiciness).

oooohhh, and the creamed spinach...and the wine...and the pop-overs. did we discuss the pop-overs?? and fries?? BLT's pop-overs (with butter...hook it up) are so good they give you the recipe to try at home. of course your going to fail at home, but its more incentive to go back and get the real thing. the fries are drizzled with garlic, or garlic salt, or garlic pepper, or...these aint your regular Mickey D fries.

Date Status: this is for the "person" that knows their steak. someone thats trendy. this is a good first date restaurant...it will ensure a second date. this is for the "person" who you want the draws from but can wait a few more dates for. make sense?? probably not *shrugs*

Rating:

this is only a 3 Shakur restaurant because if you take the jump-offs here, its almost guaranteed cheeks (wait, did i just say that??) it could be worth the money...possibly.

maybe its more of a 2 1/2 Shakur restaurant.

Top 5 Becky's

2010-07-02T09:56:00.001-07:00

Black folks love to swirl, don't they?? ...dont lie, youve thought about it.

For those that love that milky white, here is a list of "good" becky choices...

(this is in order, 5 being the lowest)

5) GWYNETH PALTROW

4) CHRISTINA HENDRICKS

3) MEGAN FOX

2) KERRY WASHINGTON (no she's not; yes she is)

1) COCO TEA (i love you bitch...i really fucking do!!)

Side Track...

2010-07-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

did yall peep how Rhianna's been rocking the wing chain-thing I posted in March for Nikki Minaj?? #imjustsaying

i got the eye yall, i swear i do. lol

TOP 8 BRANDON'S

2010-07-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

women swirlers need love too.

for those that love the milky white (insert dirty thought here), here are some "good" brandon choices (and yes, the ladies get more because...*shrugs* more options i guess).

8) COLIN FARRELL

7) JOHNNY DEPP (can't have colin without Johnny)

there aren't a lot of stock Johnny photos where he doesn't look like a pirate.

6) JASON SEGEL (its something about him)

5) JARED LETO (jordan catalano)

4) TRAVS (travis barker and travis mccoy/no he's not; yes he is)

3) MICKEY ROURKE (shut your mouth, love me some Mickey Rourke...love him; maybe it was just ironman 2)

2)RUSSELL BRAND (russell could definitely get it)

1) BRAD "MUTHA FUCKIN" PITT (just waiting for Angelina to bow out gracefully)

HONORABLE MENTION: paul walker (he doesn't get his name in caps)

after doing the intial post, i realized a few things:

-- i have a thing for brunettes with blue eyes.
-- paul walker is hot as shit and might be tied for #3 with Mickey Rourke
-- where the hell is colin farrell now??
-- top #1 becky and brandon are both well-known swirlers.

1789: Restaurant One

2010-06-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

for a minute i've been discussing how PF Changs does not (should not) impress anyone and i promised to give a foodie guide for my DC fam...the time is now.

fellas (or ladies, cause times are changing) these restaurants are for big spendors, dont waste the cash (if they not giving the ass...wait, i didn't mean to say that) if this person is not someone youre really into. if you got it like that, SPEND ON...lets begin.

One of my fave restaurants is 1789.

Cuisine‎: American Colonial‎
‎Dining Style‎: Fine Dining‎
‎Reservations‎: Accepted‎
‎Price Quartile‎: $$$$‎
‎Parking‎: Valet‎
Attire‎: Jackets required‎
‎Wine Specialty‎: California, France

the skinny: i went to this restaurant with a friend and we ate GOOD but that bill was ignorant, a little over 100 per person. i had salmon, PHENOMENAL and had some of my friends lamb, EXCELLENT. its in georgetown but not in the midst of all the hoopla (if you know georgetown you know what i mean by hoopla). Service was good, ambiance nice.

the decor makes you feel like youre in a plantation masters dining room, uber colonial, but the service was great. i didn't feel uncomfortable or unwanted (aside from the stares of conservatives at a few of the surrounding tables).

Date Status: this would definitely impress on a date. it would show your mate that you know a little bit about food and don't mind stepping away from the norm. not choking when you see the check is the key to making this a successful date.

Rating:

One Shakur which means it is not jump-off/hootchie friendly. (don't worry, i'll give some of yall cheap-o's a 5 shakur rated restaurant...asshole)

Letter From Blogger (yes another one)

2010-06-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

i'm so indecisive y'all...my bad.

so i'm going back to the orginal content of barbiescummanifesto and carrying my fashion happy ass over to Tumblr. Thats right, the fashion will commence on Tumblr (I'll post the link later), with pics of real live ppl in real live fashions...moving on.

for now, blogger will house all of my confusing moments, conspiracy theories, ill-advised advice, and rants.

Enjoy!!

PSA: Rosa Acosta

2010-03-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while we have to step away from fashion and discuss other things...ya know, so we dont become jaded :)

just little fyi's for you to see. our first ever PSA is Rosta Acosta.

and she's also a ballerina *tears*

(yeah i don't know what she said but i love "models" that look good in and out of clothes. she gives face a little too, dont she??!?!)

ladies, before you frown, let this be motivation. and if i said it once, i've said it a million times: if she's bad, she's bad. and i'm going to let you know when youre bad WERK MISS ROSA ACOSTA, YOU BAD!!!!! lol

The Nicki Minaj Challenge

2010-03-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

The Let's Dress Nicki Challenge.

What would u want to see Nicki Minaj in?? (wouldn't this go under playtime w/ celebs...yes, yes it would).

The cool thing about "Playtime w/ Celebs" is all these looks can be purchased online and are affordable...hey hey TAX REFUND TIME!!!!!!

Lets start with a daytime look:

(AMERICAN APPAREL)
(L.A.M.B; heels.com)

(sorry guys, this is a barney's find = may-jah coins)

Simple enough right??

Make Up:

(sorry about how grainy some of the pics are, use your imaginations; cha cha face from mac cosmetics)

Hair:

She has a signature style, which i like.

So the look above would be for pap pics, katsuya lunches, shopping etc. its bright while not overbearing and UBER feminine...i love it!! (i actually want it lol)

Night Time

Ok guys, here's where we can have some fun. Based on this celebs personality, we can get a little crazy here...WOO HOO!!!!

(LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS LOOK, perfect for parties and late-night outings; alexandermcqueen.com)
(now if this aint Nicki, shhhhheeeeeeiiiiiiittttt!!!! this would be perfect for 1 of her "rip the runway" looks)

(a strong personality can pull this look off, for Nicki this look could get her recognized for being fashion forward/trendsetting/daring...YES, its alexander mcqueen, AND??? i told yall i missed him, well i do)

OK EVERYONE, ITS QUITTING TIME @ WORK (not WERK but work) SO WE WILL FINISH w/ Miss Nicki's EVENING LOOKS LATER. STAY TUNED FOR MORE EVENING 'FITS, EVENING HAIR AND EVENING MAKEUP. xoxoxo

DOWN and OUT

2010-03-18T04:59:00.001-07:00

I had a turbulent day @ work yesterday (not WERK but work). not only was work a mess but booski and i are beefing so my relationship IS A MESS.

"when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when i'm feeling sad...i simple just playback my favorite things and then i don't feel soooooo baaaaaaaaddddd."

below are 2 clips that ALWAYS make me laugh/smile, ENJOY!!

(there is something i really like about the song and the chick...i don't know why or what #dontjudge lol)

thanks Africa for Bangs and Die Antwoord (yes, both clips are from Africans LOL)

How to Be a Chanel Ambassador

2010-03-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

in keeping with the Chanel theme (see previous post), lets find out "how to be a Chanel ambassador." we won't touch on the lack of color amongst the ambassadors either *side eye*

Tatt'd Up: Chanel

2010-03-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

tattoo by Chanel please-n-thank you.

(BTW...pixiewoo/fashionfacetv are the shit. good make up tuts and awesome blog)

why do i see this cool accessory falling into the wrong hands *side eye to the hood-rats*

2010 - 1950

2010-03-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

you know my Bettie Page obsession...you know this.

actually i love the whole naughty conservatism of the 1950's. its something we don't get a lot of in the new millennium. everyone has pretty much said to hell w/ conservatism, bring on more naughty. I, on the other hand, find the naughtiest ppl are those that are the most conservative (or fully clothed)...(save that for another post).

ANYWHO, it all boils down to me wanting a 1950's inspired swimsuit.

Here are some looks that I found, that I love:

for these suits and more vintage looks, shop here: http://unique-vintage.com/

HAWT or NOT: twenty8twelve Edition

2010-03-12T09:09:00.000-08:00

Twenty8twelve has been coined as one of the fashion worlds "hot new-comers."

What say you??

Here's a little about the line and designers savannah and sienna miller (yes, THAT sienna miller):

"On completing their respective training they moved in together and the seed of twenty8twelve was planted. It was only natural that Savannah would fit her work on Sienna and Sienna would give comments and they found that their different approaches and ideas complemented each other. When they were approached by Spanish entrepreneur, Carlos Ortega to turn this dream in to reality it felt like a logical and organic step to take and twenty8twelve was born. The rest is history."

PROENZA PROENZA PROENZA

2010-03-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

aside from chloe sevigny for opening ceremony, i love me some PROENZA SCHOULER.

with everyone having to be uber different and inevitably looking the same, the Proenza Schouler line is edgy, and feminine w/o being pink and floral, but more importantly its a fresh-new look @ being different. I LOVE IT.

s/s 2010

Other Fave: short film for Opening Ceremony- spring 2010
(home-girl WERKS @ the 1:21 mark lol)

S/S 2010...Must-Haves

2010-03-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

although its F/W 2010 in the fashion world, i'm still prepping for S/S 2010.

here are 5 MUST HAVES for the Spring/Summer 2010:

1) DENIM, DENIM, DENIM!!!! ladies n gents, its time to bring out your jean jackets, relaxed fit jeans and denim accessories...i dare you to wear them all @ once:
(chanel ss 2010)

2) GOLDEN SHOWERS!!!!! Golden what??? a little splash of gold or vibrant yellow can add a playful glow to any S/S 'fit:

Lookie Looky...a denim look w/ a splash of gold, thanks Balenciaga.

Even pale yellows work...(ss 2010 band of outsiders)

3) EMBELLISH BABY!!!! Nowadays everyone has to have PIZAZZ to their 'fit. You now need a stud, shoulder pad, ruffle, ANYTHING to add "extras" to your look: (who else but john galliano)

ummm fellas, yall do know about these?? right?? thats why i'm here...boy, christian louboutin; christian louboutin, boy.

4) Hello Toe...i LOVE LOVE LOVE open toe boots, don't you?? its like combining winter and summer into one!!
fellas i give you permission to skip to 5.

(versus fall 2010) Sorry about the size of the pic but these shoes are definitely gagg-worthy. how can you not love this look?? HOW??

Well smack your mama...this look right here comprises both #3 (embellish) and #4 (open toe boots) RIP ALEXANDER MCQUEEN (you are beyond missed)

sidenote: LADIES, if you got some extra coins, pls check out: alexandermcqueen.com. the "pre spring" looks have ALL your spring/summer must-haves...ENJOY!!

LASTLY... 5) THE COAT. if youre like me than youre tired of snow. you are so tired of snow that as soon as the temp is back to 60, your breaking out a tube dress and flip flops (pls don't). HOWEVER, you still need a coat..'scuse me, a jacket.

5) THE JACKET. lets all bow our heads to the master of jackets/trench: BURBERRY PRORSUM (bow, bitch bow)

(ladies, peep the sandal/sock movement...it will be done this summer)

Letter From the Blogger...

2010-03-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

I declared in October that January 2010, BSM was going to be a fashion EXPLOSION.

I wasn't lying, it is and will be...but it took longer than expected.

After trying to design my page (basic blk is where its @...long story)
After finding an assistant (who is moving to Chicago next month)

and

After conducting LIFE...this, my friends, is your new BARBIESCUMMANIFESTO Fashion Blog; which (hopefully) will guide you through the way i see fashion, art and the likes.

The point of this new blog is to not only express myself but to market myself, help your fashion-less ass out and continue to research and devote my free-time to something i love...FASHION.

i hope i succeed. ENJOY...COMMENT...GIVE FEEDBACK...SUPPORT.

Love Life...frankbarbie

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!!!!!

2009-10-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

BarbieScumManifesto is UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!!!!

We will reconvene @ a later date (soon, very soon).

Be prepared for FASHION n INTRIGUE!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!

Eye Candy/Mind Fuck: Leann Amos

2009-07-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

since everyone uses the term "eye candy" i decided to call them mind fucks (for obvious and not-so-obvious reasons).

i think women are beautiful and, as a non-hating female, i can celebrate a womans beauty and share it with others...plus i need more male followers, so here is some eye can...excuse me, here is the mind fuck of the week: LEANN AMOS

Why she's a mind fuck: she's not only a "model" but she does 'net interviews and has a youtube channel blah blah blah...she's not a total airhead.

Why i like her: she's thick, looks good in or out of clothes, looks adorable with short or long hair...WERK!!!!

Boredom Randomness

2009-07-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

this is going to be the EXTRA RANDOM post, you have been warned...my boss left and i'm bored with twitter so i figured why not blog...i don't have shit to write about and i don't feel like dedicating my blog to "the manual" AKA finding your ass a mate (it will resume later) so, here we are.

u get to enjoy the chaos that is my mind.

first...i'm so tired of telling people about j*davey but i'm going to tell u people ONE MORE TIME. if u don't know about them "kill ur ears," well technically they are already dying cause youve deprived them for so long without j*davey.

i can't describe the sound. they don't have a specific look...they just are. miss jack davey says all the nasty shit i wanna say to...different people (Chris Brown included).

Division Of Joy - J*DaVeY

so thats the song that started it all for me.

more random shit... so i've been rocking diorshow mascara since back when myspace was HAWT (thats a long time) and i decided to change it up, because i get bored and like to spend $$. after doing a little research i decided to give Yves Staint Laurent MASCARA VOLUME EFFET FAUX CILS a try...ladies and queens, we have a winner.

the rundown on this wand is it gives the same effects of diorshow, less trailer trash cake up (youre lying if u say diorshow didn't give u that "broke down stripper" look sometimes). my lashes are long, BLACK, and soft. here's the link to make your purchase (ysl, send my ad royalties in the mail): http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P218400

more randomness...

i started drinking chlorophyll again, to cleanse my inside but i'll make an official post about that later.

My baby daddy (chris brown, as if u didn't know) made the wrong shirt choice for his apology video.

i'm a virgo.

i kinda have a twitter crush.

i think its sexy common likes dark skin chicks.

i think its unsexy that other fellas don't.

i still watch amen, martin and living single...i don't watch bet (only for tiny and toya, don't judge me).

more j*davey:

Let It Bleed - J*Davey

8 Thick Interlude - J*Davey

Dana La Rock, is the new new LOL, check her out:

C.R.U.S.H.E.R - Dana La Rock!

The Chris Brown Moment

2009-07-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful Memorial service yesterday for Michael Jackson, absolutely beautiful and more fulfilling than that coonery BET put together but i felt like it could have used something....whats that u say: CHRIS BROWN??

oh yes, MA BOO!!! he wouldve ripped that memorial up as well as the BET Awards but they won't let him. i do agree the memorial service was not the place for him to make a "comeback" but HUBBIE loves michael so much, why won't they let him pay his respects...why won't they let him be great DAMMIT!!!!

thats ok boo...you can be great right here, in mama's lap...i mean on BSM (then mama's lap).

the above clip is from 2006 so chris has had 3 yrs to perfect his skills and i know for a fact he wouldve killed it on the dance, MJ style on BET. (sorry its a little grainy but you get the point, he's great)

The Manual: Getting What u Want

2009-07-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm on twitter today and noticed a very serious debate going on.

what caught my attention was a woman saying "all men cheat." this spiraled into a back and forth and what got me to speak up was men were saying that all women "fall in love" after sex, where as men are more apt to casual sex, no attachments. *sigh*

I'm assuming these were cavemen talking. However, i will use this concept as a segway into "The Manual: getting what u want."

its cute that men think that all women need is a little dick in their lives, and i have often said "damn that bitter hoe needs some dick," but the reality of it is: we both need each other.

that is lesson/exercise one: ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND MEN AND WOMEN NEED EACH OTHER. with this knowledge you are able to never have to feel like you need him or her to complete you. just as bad as you want them, they want u.

with this knowledge you can also obtain confidence in knowing that he/she may not want you but someone who is finer, nicer, more educated, etc will want you. make sense, i hope so...we're moving on.

it's so important to know your self-worth in order to obtain not only healthy relationships but to be more successful, well received and just an all around better person.

lets be straight: confidence does not equal cocky.

confidence=i love who i am and am ok if you don't love me because i will always have self-love.
cocky= i love who i am, why don't you love me?? you should, i'm great.

see the difference??

confidence is like a new hairstyle or cut, people take notice. and when u love yourself people can't help but to notice. its unbelievably easy to show self love and it only takes a few seconds and the gestures are sooo simple:

smile

take care of your appearance

laugh

love

thats it!!!

smile- its a scientific fact (not really, shut up) that smiling reads as joy and pleasure to others. you can't bag a mate mean mugging (for those that don't speak slang: you can't find a mate with a mean expression upon thy face)...invite opportunity your way by smiling, SHOW OFF YOUR JOY AND PLEASURE to others.

take care of your appearance- take care of what you got, whether its kmart or cavalli. keep in mind the way you take care of yourself is the type of person your going to attract. so u havent had a line up in two months and u look like wolf-man jack, don't be surprised if u get a broke down raggamuffin...NINJA, U LOOK BROKE DOWN TOO!!!! ladies, youre a size 14 (triple d) and have on a midriff and leggings, don't be surprised if u get a man asking "how much??" YOU LOOK LIKE A HOE!!! i can't stress enough, you don't have to have designer gear or mac make-up. find a look that fits you, rock it with confidence...take care of it with patience.

laugh- i hate to see people try to contain their laughter. if somethings funny, LAUGH...it burns calories. it also invites people to share in your joy. sidenote: i had a friend in middle school whose laughter was contagious. every time she laughed, i couldn't help but laugh and we would sit on the phone for hours laughing at nothing...and it was fun. when is the last you laughed really hard??

love-LADIES LADIES LADIES, this is for you...men don't like hating ass females. stop mugging pretty women, stop dissing a chick cause she got knock off laboutins (even though that is a travesty within itself)...if she's bad, say she's bad. it makes you look better in the long run. the classic scenario is a group of men and women sitting around "discussing" and when a pretty chick is named all the females have something negative to say: "i heard she's a hoe," "you know thats not her real hair," "somebody said she fucked to get that bag." SO WHAT!!!!! be a trendsetter and say something nice. its good karma on you, u stand out from the crowd and a "good" man will see the "good" in you...get it?? a "good" man...cause they're only attracted to "good" women.

fellas, if youre hating on another dude u just look gay to females, thats it...point done. also, stop being so negative. your heart cannot receive love if it doesn't believe in love. stop burdening others with how fucked up you are and focus on how good you are cause "good" people are only attracted to other "good" people.

i can't stress enough how easy it is to get what u want from following such simple guidelines...but what's uber is they work for more than just relationships, it makes for a healthier, happier way of life.

Next: The Manual: Keeping What You Got

The Manual: Letting Go

2009-06-30T11:47:00.001-07:00

so my friend asked me to blog about "the players manual" LOL. not sure what to say however i will discuss a few relationship "challenges," how to confront these challenges, and hopefully how to have a decent relationship.

First, lets discuss letting go...

some of u ninjas and ninjettes swear youre going to make it work/happen with someone when in reality you need to let it go.

exercise: lets all pull out our phones (crackberry in my case) and go through the text messages. do you have three or more messages to the same person, without receiving a response?? LET IT GO!!!

we have ALL been there before...stressing over someone who isn't stressing over us but we have to be aware of when to let go.

exercise 2: you call, get three rings and then goes straight to voicemail...LET IT GO.

there is something deep down telling you, "they don't really fuck with me" quit ignoring that muthafucker and listen...that is called intuition.

exercise 3: your friends tell you to let it go...LET IT GO.

you know who your hating ass friends are and you know who your ride or die friends are...if ride or die is telling you to drop that zero and find yourself a hero, take heed. they are outsiders looking in, and a real friend does not want to see another friend playing themselves.

then there are some of you that got the one you were chasing but something just aint right...

its really hard to identify when to let go when you already "think" you have the one you want.

exercise 1: the last 4 weekends you were home alone and your "other" was out living it up...

exercise 2: you don't know when "other" gets paid but they know when you get paid...

exercise 3: their phone is a forbidden territory to you.

the hard part with letting go in a "relationship" is deciphering whether you need to let it go or try to work on things. all three exercises are grounds to let go only AFTER you have discussed your concerns with "other" and no resolution has been made. YOU CANNOT expect for people to know where youre coming from if they don't know where youre at. communication can make that happen.

PART TWO: getting what you want

the BET awards: WORST

2009-06-30T10:06:00.000-07:00

this is the post where i express my disappointment in some of my favorite celebs (estelle) for missing the mark completely...for them, here is my web address (frankiebaby3000@yahoo.com). I can help, and the first event is on the house.

1st, lets discuss Estelle: WHY WHY WHY??? i love her so but who dresses her and in particular who dressed her this evening?? and will someone PLEASE style her hair. she has the shape of a good haircut but its so poorly executed *sigh* and i love her sooo much.

2nd, Ne-ho's fiance: don't know the chick but she looked so hood with neon yellow/green "highlights," then she ever so politely attacked my eyes with a capri onesie delicately covered with a chunky RAVE belt (WTDTA)

3rd, Lil Mama: she rarely hits it on the mark with me but this shit right hurr, THIS SHIT RIGHT HURR...UH UH. she is another chick that needs a stylist STAT. her and ne-ho's fiance both committed the same fashion felony with inappropriate "highlight" pieces and chunky RAVE belts.

i never understood how these artist (or wives of said artists), who have a little bit of cash, can somtimes look so cheap and not put together. there really shouldn't be an excuse when attending events such as award shows.

what is so hilarious about the "fiance" and lil mama is that all the red carpet photos i've seen of them, theyre posing like their 'fits are so ON but IMO theyre quite off, drastically off.

the BET awards: honorable mentions

2009-06-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

So here are a few that i noticed @ the awards but unfortunately missed the mark whether it be with hair, shoes, face, and/or accessories. nice try though...

B+ for amber rose/amerie, cause they did wear the same FAB dress. (*pause* did kanye bring back butta timbos *sigh*)

B+ for Keri Hilson and her jheri curl mop top

B+ for Lala Vasquez...she's cute yall, but was it me or does she look extra thick in this frock?? still cute though.

B++ for Keke Palmer...she's so cute and age appropriate, and she can SANG yall. she couldve made the best if her shoe had more "pizazz."

there are lots more but we need to move on to other things...

here's are a list of names that deserved a glance but not a pic above:

C+ Tamala Jones

C+ Taraji Henson

C+ for Hurrican Chris' and Rick Ross's date (ladies hair game was on point)

C+ Ray J

the BET awards: BEST

2009-06-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

i'm so anti-coonery but i couldn't help myself and watched the BET awards this sunday. like many bloggers, i remember none of the categories but there were a few moments that stuck out in my head...as pure and utter foolishness but i'll save that for the post after the next.

this post is to highlight those few (very few) ladies that did their thang and made it look so effortless and sans foolishness.

thank you Zoe Saldana (in Calvin Klein)

thank you Adrienne of 3lw (designer unknown, LOOOOVED this look)

thank you Beyonce (in Balmain)

thank you Cassie (designer unknown...some guessed Alexander McQueen, i have my doubts)

Thanks ladies for the well put together 'fits and shying away from foolishness and coonery. "KA-DOOZ!!!!"

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

2009-06-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

i'm still in shock and disbelief over MJ's death...it truly hurt me and he will truly be missed. two of my all time FAVS below...

My Faves: mickey d's and pharrell

2009-06-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

yeah i know its hella old but it makes me laugh every time i see it (plus i LOVE me some pharrell).

I told yall i'm going to video you to death so get ready...

The Chris Brown Moment

2009-06-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

so for your viewing pleasure here is the video clip that set it off for me and chris (and yes there is a me and chris, shut your mouth)...omg, I feel 13 again. anywho, the boy's got skills. breath him in, let it marinate and then spit him out...

btw, i figured out how to show videos now so be prepared...you've been warned.

R.I.P. Farrah

2009-06-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

so i just learned (via twitter) that the GREAT Farrah Fawcett died...

i'm beyond sad about this because Farrah paved the way in hair, sex appeal, and lifetime movies for me.

If you don't know about her beyond "charlie's angels," please rent "the burning bed" and "extremities"...both are 2 of my ALL TIME FAVORITE movies.

its so hard to believe she's gone (to a better place)...GOD BLESS!!!!

Shout-Outs

2009-06-16T09:51:00.001-07:00

i forgot to do these last week so i'm going to do some today:

unkleEL: http://bit.ly/64cni (sports, techies, shoes...he's your male bff, only cooler)

nicole alexis: http://www.nicole... (so some of yall can stop getting your make-up from CVS or at least make the CVS shit look legit; like me, she believe sephora is the glam girls RITE-AID)

when i find more, i'll fill yall in...till then check these sites out, i wouldn't steer you wrong.

New Obsession: The Chris Brown Moment

2009-06-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

Alright, shut up!!! i know...he beat barbado rhi, he's slandering her reputation, blah blah...and i still like him.

So, not only does he have the features i like in a man (freckles, slender, tall, thick eyebrows/hair...i like what i like) but MaBoo Chris is really talented. He can act, dance, and sing a lil somethin. I don't really like to go into the whole domestic abuse, "chrihanna-gate" thing but i will say this (coming from a jamaican family) caribbean women can be fiesty (hit a nigg upside the head fiesty) and thats it, all i'ma say with a hint of *side eye*

Moving along...as i perused youtube one evening, wait, the way i stumbled upon this may give you lol's...i was watching the specTACKY "rebuttal" video, for the first fuckery of a dance tape. off to the side were more vids of pure fuckery and i spent about 45 mins watching boys gyrating to random music...it wasn't as fun as i was anticipating.

so after a while "take you down" by MaBoo surfaced and i figured "hell you watched these clowns gyrate for 45 mins, give Chris a shot." i'm glad i did...that boy has moves. when i figure out some blogging things (post a vid, change the background, add some shit), i'm going to post the vid that got me we-...entertained by MaBoo. for such a young man, he seems so...experienced. yes, he is younger than me, and yes i feel like an old hag lusting after some young boy but...jeez, chris takes me back to the days of hanging krisskross posters on my wall and watching marky mark pelvic thrust in the "good vibrations" video...so flustered and hot, i like that feeling.

in terms of eye candy for the ladies, there isn't much for a girl like me...i'm a little bit of andre3000/pharrell williams/travis from gym class heros...if they could roll that into one dude, i would...well, lets just say thats what i like. today the dream, ne-ho, and pleasure p (puh-leez) are singing sweet NOTHINGS in my ear and causing tramatization to my eyes, who else am i supposed to look at?? scroll up, look @ him again (i'll give you a sec). picture that whispering "can i take you down" in your crusty ear...i'm getting hot just thinking about it.

i'm not going into a whole "thing" about my new obsession but ima keep his 15 mins togetha!!!! he will live on bsm.com until i say its OVA, ya hear me?? no, but seriously, i'm going to keep posting him so i have an excuse to download his pics and a place to repeatedly view said pics without being ashamed.

as we've done before and will continue to do...breath him in and spit him out.

Playtime with Celebrities: Lady Gaga

2009-06-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah so i was supposed to be re-dressing Lady Gaga...then someone commented on how talentless she is...

this may actually be true but I can't bring myself to re-dress her. she turned hookers on the point game proper into HAUTE galliano-esque COUTURE. how can you fuck with that (i'm cryin "fashion" tears as i type). you know it was really shits and giggles with JHood but Lady Gaga has touched my heart. she doesn't give a fuck about any of us and she will continue to look like an under-study for someone in Cats no matter what the "people" may say.

Rather then change her sexy, i'm going to force you to look at her in some of my fave 'fits.

As we said FareWell to Amber...we must say FareWell to the re-styling of Lady Gaga because frankly, she is style.

The Amber Rose Moment: Farewell Edition

2009-06-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

It seems that Amber doesn't need my help...since my Amber Rose Moment posts I have seen her on every gossip site imaginable (really only 3, but still).

Her 15 are still going strong, so this is the last Amber Rose post I will be doing...unless she decides to follow me on twitter (twitter.com/frankbarbie). I can't keep up with her and 'ye, the shopping at my favorite store (american apparel)...the bday party...friends with uncle russ, and when youre friends with uncle russ you don't need little peons trying to boost your celebrity...uncle russ=celebrity.

From now on i'm channeling my Amber Rose energy to a new subject. Some of you will judge, some will hate but i want all of you to know: THIS IS MY DAMN SITE, I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!! ok, i'm done...lets take one more deep breath of the HAUTENESS that is Amber Rose and for the last time spit her out...(salty lesbian tears)

Stay tuned for my new obsession...

Playtime with Celebrities: Lady Gaga

2009-06-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

i like this chick, lady gaga...

i can't tell you not one of her songs but i like her persona and the fact that she goes out of her way to be different from other pop artist...i dig it.

but some people (you, alexis) disagree and think her look is "extras," "too much," and "unnecessary" so this weeks, playtime with celebrities is dedicated to LADY GAGA.

I'm going to transform this patent leather game proper to something more...i don't know. Since i like her style already, i am doing this transformation against my will (tears). would u believe this is the only picture of her i could find in something i didn't really approve of, the only (says a lot about me). I will try my hardest to keep her original and funky. Pardon me, if it takes a few days to post her new 'fit.

The Amber Rose Moment

2009-06-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

So as quickly as i posted about keeping Amber Rose in the spotlight, she appeared...

now its only fitting that i give you an update.

THERE IS NO AMBER AND CASSIDY, tis all.

No really, she said she only met him once and doesn't know what he's talking about...she called uncle russ to complain (via globalgrind):

"She has dreams and aspirations that she doesn’t want ruined by innuendo and games played by others. So, one thing she wants to make clear, that Russ believes is true, that she does not know Cassidy…especially since Cassidy has already come out publicly and admitted to not knowing her. Although she has no interest in addressing this directly, she does want the world to know the details about Cassidy…”she met him once at a softball game and that’s it.”

Oddly enough, as I read the above, Justin Timberlake's "cry me a river" played in my mind...simultaneously of course.

Shout-Outs

2009-06-05T12:44:00.001-07:00

So i'm black and you know how we do...when we like something, we share it with the world through a shout out, so here goes:

LOVES2LOVE: www.cherriesblossoming.blogspot.com (she inspired BSM, funny ass REAL LIFE SHIT)

DIRTYWHORELEB: http://dirtywhorelebrity.com/ (her blog is the devil that sits on the left side of entertainments shoulder)

MIZZHOTBLAZE: http://www.mayahotblaze.com/ (her mind rocks!!!! among other things ;)

MANDII NICHOLE: www.robotsatemygrandmother.blogspot.com (she reads edgar allen poe yall, for having the coolest blog name)

DURTYMO: http://www.youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com/ (if you don't know, smack yourself. mo provides HOURS of LOL's...HOURS)

i'm getting hip to this blog thing so when i find more kick ass blogs, i'll shout em out.

How to Upgrade your Jump-Off Status

2009-06-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

So for whatever reason, you woke up one morning, rolled over, saw "him" (eyes crusted shut, mouth open, farting, drooled up pillow case) and thought to yourself...I WANT HIM TO BE MINE.

It is my duty here @ BarbieScumManifesto to talk about you but also help your goofy, delusional ass out.

You're tired of the late night phone calls, you wanna meet his momma, you wanna go to PF Changs (btw, this is not the holy grail of fine dining, but i'll save that for another post), you wanna be called someone's boo rather than "______, oh her."

What I am about to propose to you will be hard. There might be a lot of dickless nights, a lot of no phone call/text days...he might even find another j/o, but anything worth having takes sacrifice (yatta yatta yatta).

You werent invited to go the club but were invited to his house after the club.

>>> When this happens, say no...it's that simple. If you're fake Miss Go-Hard (which I doubt) then say you already have company, or you're about to step out. Whatever you do just make it seem like you have something better to do than come over and fuck his sweaty club dick.

You don't have to get dressed to go out cause you don't go anywhere but to his house.

>>>Next time he calls you up (and its before 12am), get dressed and when he see's you ask to go to dinner or to a movie (something slight, baby steps...pf changs will come). If he says no, tell him you're going home, you don't feel like sitting in the house. If your horny, fuck and immediately after get dressed to leave. If he asks whats the rush, you can say "I'm not trying to sit in the house, i'm going to head out" (something to that effect). You don't technically have to go anywhere when you leave his house (you better leave if he says no) but elude to the fact that your tired of sitting in his house.

He doesn't call before 12 am.

>>>LOL, look ladies its 2009. If you want to talk to him, call him. The chase is fun but you're a Jump-Off, the chase is over for you. He got what he was chasing a month ago, you're old news. In this situation, you gotta go hard or go home. The worst that can happen is he won't pick up and/or call back...so what, its to be expected. Don't freak out, remember he's not your boyfriend. Also don't go from j/o to stalker, limit the calls to a few (2 is pretty good but every case is diff).

McDonalds/Wendys/7-11 is yall spot.

>>>LOL, i'm sorry but this classifies as another "look ladies its 2009." You wanna eat something other than taquitos and big bites, take your ass to dinner and invite him if you feel like treating him...otherwise eat before you get fucked. Next time you get your tax refund or NaNa gives you some doe for her sew-in take you and "whatever he is" to somewhere decent, dont break the pockets, somewhere decent. Show him what it would be like to go on a date with you and wear something that will make other men take notice. Plus, any man will tell you, its nice to be spoiled occassionally.

You've never seen him in anything other than a beater and sweats.

>>>1st, he's a bamma (for those that arent from the DMV: clown, lame, koon, etc)...hopefully when u practice the step above you'll get to see him in something other than fuck/madden/nba live gear...moving along.

You've heard the line "right after this game." (I think every woman has heard this LOL)

>>>Yeah, if you've ever been with a man you will hear this phrase at least once in your life...if not he might be gay, i'm just saying.

He tried to hook you up with his brother/room-mate/cousin/any friend.

>>>This is tough...if he's trying to hook you up with someone other than himself, I would give up but some of yall are persistent. In cases like this let him know you don't need help, you found his bootleg ass, you can find someone else if need be. Nah, scratch that. If he trys this move I say cut all ties, there's no respect there and you're going to be working a long time trying to hife (wife this hoe). Shouldn't have given his dumb ass the "godiva" in the first place...I digress. Just leave it alone.

Valentines Day and Christmas are just another day for yall.

>>>This is fun...so many routes we can take with this. Don't want to spend $$, tell him you got something special for him on vday and dress up for him (i.e. lingerie, sexy panties, fluffer suit, whatever yall are into) and you should know what to do after that. Cook him a special dinner...show him you got wifey skills. If your ass can't cook (*sigh*) revert back to "taking his ass out to eat." Got some extra bread (extra bread-he's not your man yet, can't spend hard earned dough) buy him a gagg gift (queens, shut up)...cheesy silk boxers, boobie mints (please don't make me explain this), edible undies, etc. Point is you want to let him know, that you know, he is the fucker and you the fuckee but you're diggin on him and arent afraid to show it...hell the point of doing any of this is you know your role but you want him to know you want an upgrade, you're trying to move up.

He gives you a speech about how you're NOT the jump off.

>>>Yeah this goes in with the homie hook-up category. He's running game and i'm assuming he doesn't think you're smart enough to know that he's running game. If someone has to tell you your role in a relationship, well lets just say you're not doing something right.

Now before you write me saying my shit didn't work and I don't know what I'm talking about, let me say this...CONSISTENCY. I didn't say this would be easy or quick. I suggest getting a stand-in for those hard times but with patience and committment, I promise he'll take more notice, give more respect, may even take that ass to PF Changs.

I'm not about turning a hoe into a husband but some of yall really like these fools and wanna be with them so tough it out. I refuse to believe females don't know when they are being disrespected, so if he's kinda sweet to you, shows you a lil attention...what the hell, go for it.

Disclaimer: this WILL NOT work if he has a wife and/or girlfriend that he doesn't plan on leaving for ur goofy ass...he might say he's leaving, HE'S NOT!!!! once again: I refuse to believe females don't know when they are being disrespected.

The Amber Rose Moment

2009-06-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

I LOVE AMBER ROSE!!! (she's another lesbian crush, shut up don't judge me)

I am determined to keep her 15 mins alive so every week or so i have decided to dedicate a post to her where-abouts and what she's doing (until I get bored and decide to find a new obsession which happens frequently)...as of now she's doing nothing but i'ma still post her.

Most recently Cassidy (short and sexy is what i like to call him) jumped out there on EGO west. Here's the verse Cass dropped in regards to the saga that is AmberR and EGO west:

“I f*cked ya girl on D-low, cause I’m that nigga and I got a bigger ego. For free yo, I let her climb on the tree yo. now she with me yo, so adios amigo. No you ain’t big as me yo. So when I hit , she said my d*ck too big, fat, wide, and thick. What I was born with is enormous, when I try to fit, she holler like ‘you got a big ego, AGH SHIT!’ And that’s why she on my d*ck, cause I got a huge ego, I’m a hero. I save the day, it’s L-O-V-E yo, she never felt that way ’till she started fucking with me yo. I took her from you like D-bo, ’cause your ass always had her going to bed mad like Ne-Yo”.”

Yeah, there weren't any names mentioned in the verse except for Ne-ho (gross) but i'm going to feed into the hype and say it was about MA BOO to promote her spotlight/shine. Plus, word on the street is she and Cass are dating and Cass is being encouraged to keep coming @ EGO to get back in the spotlight (its been a while since "drink and my 2 step"). I think her and Tiffany made a cuter couple but what I say doesn't matter to her (yet).

Pause...(scrolling back up) Tiffany got a purdi mouth too...so all together lets breath them BOTH in, and spit them out.

You're a Jump-Off...

2009-06-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

Lets talk about Jump-Offs...

Some of us like to fake like we don't know when we're a j/o or participating in j/o activities, but its 2009, lets be true to ourselves.

Fellas (if yall reading me), ALL females are someone's jumpoff...ALL. I hate when males say they want a female that aint out there...well, sounds like you're doing your searching in a convent cause even "virgin valerie" was someone's late night booty tease @ one point.

What?? How can you say that?? My girl was a virgin when she met me?? LMAO!!!!! SO!!!!!!

If you're a female, virgin, older than 21...i'm going to assume you've sucked a dick, jerked a dick, rubbed on a dick (with or without panties), and maybe even let the head in and then changed your mind.

A dude has tried (probably many) to tap that ass and although you may not have fully done the horizontal polka...you both had a good time (wink wink).

Fellas (if yall reading me) virgins can be jump-offs. Nobody may have gotten 10 consecutive pumps but she has been called after the club for a bj and/or hand job on occasion. She may have been caught up in the club bathroom grinding on your johnson in her draws (shut up, don't judge nobody).

lets repeat...EVERY GIRL IS SOMEONES JUMP-OFF.

Ladies, your asking yourself "how do I know if I'm a jump off" *sigh* (side eye and a "bitch please")...

Your a jump off if:

You werent invited to go the club but were invited to his house after the club.

You don't have to get dressed to go out cause you don't go anywhere but to his house.

He doesn't call before 12 am.

McDonalds/Wendys/7-11 is yall spot.

You've never seen him in anything other than a beater and sweats.

You've heard the line "right after this game." (I think every woman has heard this LOL)

He tried to hook you up with his brother/room-mate/cousin/any friend.

Valentines Day and Christmas are just another day for yall.

He gives you a speech about how you're NOT the jump off.

The list could go on but most of you already know, or are crying cause the truth hurts. Either way, if you answered yes to any of these questions...YOU'RE A JUMP OFF.

The plus is it's 2009...know your role and make it a goal to do better.

Next Post: How to upgrade your Jump-Off Status

Playtime with Celebrities: JHud Edition

2009-06-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

Okay

Ladies and Queens...

Yesterday we discussed how misguided Jennifer Hudson was on her outing to Popeyes with fiance David Otunga. After doing a quick search ( I was @ work in betweens mtgs, shut up don't judge me) I came up with this cutsie get-up to change Jen's "attention WalMart shoppers" look, into a more fitting outfit for a celebrity.

Shoes: Giuseppe Zanotti (wedge-my choice), candela (studded flat-for u non spending hoes), and jimmy choo (jingle jangle-shimmy sham).
Jacket: marc for marc jacobs
Dress: marc for marc jacobs
Bag: n/a, she's going to popeyes not the grammy's
Accessories (this is optional): earring studs and a tag heuer mens watch. (its just popeyes)
Make-Up/Hair: "natural" face (for those that don't know that means: lips, cheeks and lashes); sloppy ballerina bun (intentional fly aways sans brush/comb/"jam" gel), chunky/thick bang.

See how easy that was???!?!?! Jenni goes from teeth flossin game proper to

"i'm going to popeyes, paparazzi me bitch." Outfit was picked sans pregnancy because duh, she's not pregnant (side eye). Something that will flatter her shape and neutral colors for a trend friendly, camera-ready photo op...WERK Mrs. Otunga!!!

Now its your turn...send entries to frankiebaby3000@yahoo.com.

Lets clap it up for saks for this wonderful transformation.

Playtime with Celebs

2009-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Here at BarbieScumManifesto, we like to help. I'ma talk about you but I will also give a resolution to your faux pas, or ask readers to assist me in helping your ass out.

I like Jennifer Hudson, her music isn't really my style, but I think she has a sweet spirit/energy, and has been through a lot in her young lifetime.

HOWEVER (kanye CAPS) what the...nevermind. This week we're going to take this photo of JHud and find her a better outfit for the photo op.

Here is Jenni from the block (literally), diggin in her teeth...Popeyes game proper.

The game will work like the following: (send all celeb and outfit entries/ideas to frankiebaby3000@yahoo.com and i'll post the following week)

I'll pick a celeb (or continue to use Jen till she gets her act together).
Pick a full outfit, shoes and bags as well (you can add accessories if you'd like).
Tell what her hair and makeup should look like...
VIOLA!!!!

Tune in for my Jennifer Hudson's camera-ready look for her visit to Popeyes...

Teyanna Taylor...dom purrr-fect

2009-06-02T08:31:00.000-07:00

Keeping in line with the talently-challenged, i'd like to introduce my lesbian crush Teyanna Taylor; the reason why my hoes need lips.

I'm not going to say anything...just wanna post her cause she's HAUTE...breath her in, spit her out.

One question: is she old enough for me to be lusting?? its a journey, work with me.

Let Us Begin...

2009-06-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

Tierra "who", christina uglyblonde and barbado rhi, all HAUTE and slutty in their own right, have plagued my mind for a while now...

Let us go over the obvious...

All have larger heads than some (some would conclude that lrg heads make them smarter *side eye*)...
All have a unique sense of fashion (they're still working with tierra)
and All for some reason have inadvertenly beefed @ one point...sorta like the battle of the talentless.

Moving along...(exclude barbado rhi for a moment) what has plagued me is how others are throwing the word talent in with the same sentence with tierra and christina. I don't know one popular/talent-filled single from either "artist" (using that term loosely) dominating the charts this year. Ive seen lots of pap pics, event photos and the like...but where's a single?? Where's the video??

Barbado rhi...well well well. I guess since the "incident" we don't have to make music. We just get dressed, walk the streets and the world will love us...FAIL. It's overkill (media saturation) and i'm old school, I need the music when you call yourself a musician. Might as well be called a street performer since every time I see you, its on the street (in some FAB outfit btw).

Lets take a moment and reflect...what are 5 noteworthy things these ladies have done??

Are they a triple threat (act, sing, and dance)??
Do they design something (bags, shoes, par-fum)??
Do they run or help a charity/organization (I see gucci shopping bags and louboutins, yall passing out turkeys this thanksgiving)??

If i'm wrong, help me. I'm not judging (I don't do that) but this is a journey, help me to understand LOL...

Intro to "Scumo"

2009-06-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

This was me, in my former life. I was then reincarnated into "scum manifesto;" frank barbie to some.

Today, I am a blogger...giving my spin on life, the way I see it,

as I experience it.

I'll ask questions, share advice, free write...i'm just going to do it all and share my journey with you...

enjoy!!!!